Rainy days…
There is a gentle rainfall outside my bedroom window as I complete another hour of ceiling stares. The rain days are easier for me to absorb having to stay in bed so much – when it is sunny and beautiful outside, my spirit feels captive indoors, almost held hostage.
What is the dividing line between doing too much and not? Is it a millisecond of time or a disrupture of healthy body tissue that gets worn down? I dont have the answer to this but I do know that I am somehow doing too much. I have no idea how this is possible as I am doing very little, but it is clear to me that physically I am in worse condition than last week. I’ve been given instructions that I should be completely bedridden or I will inhibit healing. Good grief. I’m unsure which is worse – the pain or the unrelenting boredom…
I constantly remind myself this is temporary and many people have it so much worse than me … my good attitude has been constantly praised so I know I am being good about not being a whiner … but within the parenthesis of the moment, when alone with my own thoughts, my own reality – sometimes I cant help but cry. 2 more months like this? Ug. I will look back on it and it wont seem so bad – but in the moment of NOW…. well… it isnt easy.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I finally got back to Atlanta today after my 3 weeks out. I feel like I have been gone forever. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I will call you tomorrow or monday to check up on you. XOXO.
Carole~ you are a rock star and can get through anything. Jeff and I are sending you speedy recovery thoughts from Boulder!! We look forward to seeing you out here soon!!Keep smiling Chicka~Jenni Keil