“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where…” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“…so long as I get somewhere!”, Alice added as an explanation.

-Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

I have come to understand, truly understand, that I will be managing issues with my back as long as I choose to be an active person. Forget triathlon, these issues are with me for as long as I live, and it’s up to me (mentally and physically) to manage them …. learn to manage them … as best I can.

Some injuries heal up and you move on; others earn the moniker “chronic”. And that’s just the way it is. You can brood, or you can roll with it. The choice is yours, but the outcome is the same.

My stretches and exercises will be a part of my life forever if I want to have proper mobility — and if I want to compete in triathlon in whatever capacity, they must be all-consuming. I can live with that.

Before I run (or bike or swim), I need to do various stretches and exercises to open my back, hips and hip flexors. I need to strengthen my gluts and seriously work to make my hamstrings more flexible.

I really am so grateful to have my group. I constantly remind myself I am incredibly lucky to have JZ in my world. With similar back issues with which she manages, she continues to give me great advice. Brandon is always quick to throw some ‘love’ my way: “Good job, Sharps, way to hang tough today!” He and I are the emotional ones of the group (although I am the greatest singer!) and I appreciate how he tends to my spirit with such affirmation – and GOOD humor to make me laugh. Billy keeps me thinking straight, he keeps my eye on the ball. “This is the workout you have, so this is the workout you do. Go to it, girl.” I love the overly simplistic way he can deduce anything. There is no gray matter with Billy. Sometimes that is just SO helpful!

Before our 90 min run along the dirt trails of Clermont, JZ oversees a few drills that I’m doing, correcting my form, and keeping them productive.

After 15:00 or so of drills, I joined JZ and Brandon for the start of our respective runs. This trail in Clermont was awesome. All dirt and it was pretty hilly, too. The main loop we did was 10 miles. Really nice.

Billy, Brandon and JZ were running a bit longer than I was that day, so I waited for them and stretched by our van. While doing so, I noticed a familiar figure ambling towards me. It was my former Timex teammate and friend, Canadian stud Natasha Filliol. We chatted for a bit and she informed me of the car crash she had been in last year — the car she was driving flipped over leaving her and her mother with some pretty serious injuries. She was telling me about them, I mostly remember hearing something about a broken pelvis. OUCH. Poor thing. I was embarrassed to admit I hadn’t heard about her accident and was broken hearted by it. What an ordeal.

We spoke of our respective previous year, the recovery, the therapy, how we were doing with it all. She was so sweet and full of such praise for how I was handling everything. As we hugged goodbye, we declared vigilant support of the other’s recovery. “I’ll be rooting for you, girl. You’ve been through enough”, I said to her with a soft smile.
“I’ll be rooting for you, too. I can’t imagine all you’ve been through.”, she said.

Natasha is a really sweet soul, and I truly am rooting for her to continue recovering, and return to her dominant racing. (Natasha, you go, girl!!)

Clermont Training Camp was really great, but it really is a continual management/test of internal resolve when you join others who are not only more talented, but more fit than you. In my entire career, I have never raced anyone in training, and I have never thought I was better than I really was, and I honestly do think I have a remarkably small ego (there isn’t really one to warrant). Even at my fittest, never in a million years am I the athlete that Joanna is. And lining up side by side with Billy or Brandon — they are TOUGH FELLAS. No way I am keeping up.

I know this. And it’s ok, and I would never interefere with their training or what they need to do. “You guys need to just go when you’re ready. Don’t wait for me!”, I’ll demand. I know they all have a job to do and I’d feel worse if they didn’t get it done because they were slowing for me, or altering their workout.

So – our training sessions… you know…. I see them all at the beginning – and if it is an out and back of some sort, they always wave and yell encouragement to me as they pass …. and I see them again after the workout. I am never training with them. I think some people have the impression I am doing workouts with my favorite threesome and I have to quickly correct: They are kind enough to let me START with them…. but I assure you I eat their dust quickly.

I’m getting more fit, I feel it. But I have a ways to go, and it is all very, very hard. But that’s probably why I am so proud of myself for pushing through each day. If it was easy, if it was pain-free, if I could keep up with everyone, if I wasn’t alone, if I was feeling good — if any of this were true, it wouldn’t make the reward I seek so valuable. It wouldn’t be the spirit of truth.

Our last night as a group in Clermont was fun.

We celebrated with cheeseburgers … and that’s apple juice in those mugs. Really, it is.

The fight continues.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 7th, 2009 at 1:31 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.