Acronyms

“The problem with the younger generation is that I’m no longer part of it,” Mark Twain once famously penned. Wow, can I relate.

Just when I thought I was catching up, they go out and invent an entirely new language. I am becoming more and more frustrated trying to decipher emails/notes and text messages from people.  Some of my friends are quite proficient, but I’m conversational at best.

It’s quite demanding, so who can blame me for occasional mispronunciations? I said “IAE” at Laura Tingle and Erin Kummer’s pot luck dinner last night. Some of the young ‘uns reminded me that it’s supposed to be IAT (I am tired). Whatever.  Until Mark and JZ arrived (we are the same age), I was by far the oldest person at the shin-dig.  I scanned the houseful of people feeling like I was at a fraternity party.  I leaned over to Tingle and said, “I feel like the house mother right now!”.   As one of the guys walked by… he was, I don’t know, maybe 24 years old (?), I stopped him in his tracks to tease, “Hey handsome, think you’d be interested in a cougar?”  Everyone around me laughed, including my young friend.   I then took a swig of Geritol in liquid form in order to maintain my stamina at the frat party.

But I digress.  Back to acronyms.

Here’s how it works in this updated world of “communication”: All dialog must be limited to 140 characters—the maximum length of a “Tweet”—and shorter is universally better. Any phrase that can be abbreviated, should be.

Here are some I’ve learned: 4COL (For crying out loud), CMSS (Cut me some slack). ^5 to that, right? (High five).

This whole thing got me thinking about some abbreviations we athletes might find handy. Here are some of my favorites:
BMP (Bring me pizza)
BMP STAT (Bring me pizza, immediately)
BBT (Bonking big time)
D@M12 (Died at mile 12)
NGU (Need GU)
NGU STAT (okay, you got this one)
And one of my most enthusiastic, PMUN! (Pick me up NOW!).

Soon enough the world of technology will make it possible for us to be devoid of in-person conversations entirely!  How lovely.  We’ll become entirely social phobic creatures incapable of functioning in a “live” scenario.   Every conversation can exist in the vacuum of electronics.

All well.   BMM STAT!  (Bring me margaritas, immediately!)

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