The Eerie Erie….

PLEASE BE WARNED. THIS BLOG CONTAINS MATERIAL NOT SUITED FOR CHILDREN – AND FOR FEW ADULTS. OR ADULTS WHO ARE REALLY CHILDREN. WHATEVER.
SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED IF YOU CONTINUE TO READ…..

On Halloween …. why not run? I mean, if you’re going to attend a costume party….
(yeah, a costume party, that’s what we’ll call it) … later in the evening, you should have a warmup to your intended later celebration.

So my good friend, Morgan, (previously pictured in the BUI Boulder post in Sept) asked if I wanted to run the Eerie Erie 5k with her, in Erie – about 10 miles from Boulder, for Halloween.

Morgan is a RUNNER. She is this wispy, beautiful little thing (bitch!), all 95lbs of her, and when she runs it’s like the vision of an antelope. She ran for CU and maintained the regime with legendary Coach Wetmore that many of us have salivated over in reading, “Running with the Buffaloes”. My point being, I wouldn’t be running WITH Morgan. I would register with her and then say goodbye until we met again in the parking lot post-event.

I invited roomie, TR, to run with me and he said he was IN! Awesome.

(TR and I laughed that it had been just short of THREE YEARS since our last run together …. the “Turkey Trot” during Thanksgiving 2006 with our good friend, former pro triathlete, Jeff Boyd.

Sidenote: I failed to post one of our reunion pictures when TR and I got a visit from Boyd last month. Boyd now lives in Boston and the “3 Muskateers” reunion was awesome!)

(But I digress….. back to the Eerie Erie……..)

As we were registering race morning, since it was the same price for the 5k or the 10k, I decided, what the hell, let’s just go for the 10k? I think Morgan was a little shocked.

Morgan: Really, Carole? The 10k?

Carole: It’s the same price, why not?

Morgan: Wow. Ok. Good for you.

Carole: I mean, I’m out here, right? Why not run an additional 25:00 since I’m here. God only knows the next time I’ll exercise. : )

After registering I was roaming the turf doing some strides and slight warmup when I heard this bellowing, obnoxoius (ha!), “Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo! Sharpieeeeeeee!” In the distance I noticed a bright orange guy next to, of course, the porta-a-potty.
Michael Lovato, in costume. He was here to do a little pre-festivities 10k run with his wife.
“Sharpie, you here to run the 10k, the 5k or the 400?”, he yelled out teasingly.
(The 400 is the kids race…)
“Oh, the 400!”, I laughed. “I’m gonna take down some 5 year olds!”

So the race began.
Morgan stuck with the 5k, and so did TR. As the race was just about to start, my truly hilarious roommate threw out one of his usual funny one-liners: “Like ice cream at Oprah’s house — I’m gone”.

With that, the gun went off and he was gone…

I went to the 10k course. Like most run races, everyone is off like a stampede and it usually thins out within minutes with the stupid people who went out too fast dying quick. I am pretty good at restraining myself in the beginning and settled into an uncomfortable, but stable pace. I ran, and I ran. The huffing and puffing was soon to follow, but minute after minute after minute I was doing “ok”. Apparently there weren’t any mile markers for this thing so I just kept on chugging.

Huff Puff. Huff. Puff.
Shit, I am out of shape. How come all these big fat guys are passing me? Really?
WHAT???!!!! Now a woman pushing two kids in a stroller is going by me??! You’ve GOT to be kidding!!!!!!
Huff. Puff. Huff. Puff.
(ouch….)
Huff Puff…

Mile 1 marker must not have been out, I must be coming on mile 2 soon. What’s my pace? I look down at my watch.
3:14.
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
I had only been running for 3+ minutes??!!??! Mother of GOD it felt like 15 minutes by then!!!!

Are you KIDDING?

Soon, I noticed there was a looooooooong line in front of me, spread out. The leaders made the right turn waaaaaaay in the distance. I saw Michael’s BRIGHT orange with Cheetah-Amanda right next to him. Holy shitballs they were FLYING. They were easily 2+ minutes ahead of me already….. but that’s ok, for over 2 miles (I was guessing at distance) this is not completely hideous.

ummmm……

Then I saw it. Mile ONE marker! Holy crap there was a massive spread on me like THIS and it was only mile 1. This was going to be a long run….

Hunker down, Sharpie. Think happy thoughts.
As my fat-rolled gut bounced up and down to rival my bouncing boobs, I thought about the pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks I would soon be having to add to my flab. I mean, think happy thoughts, right?

Man this course is fricking HILLY!!!!
Everyone passed me. Big fat men. Women with strollers. Kids. I mean, seriously, it was humiliating. Instead of getting depressed I thought of pizza. I mean, really, keep the motivation on things that actually make me happy.

As I got close to mile 6, there was TR cheering for me at the sideline. Ug, what a good friend!! He jumped on the Sharpie-train (caboose) and ran along side me as I tried to contain my loud, lactic-filled breathing.

TR: How ya feeling, Sharps?

Sharpie: Like a cow.

TR: Awesome. Keep it up.

Sharpie: Do you know this is the pace I ran for the marathon at IMF? (2006)

>TR: <silence… my sweet friend is likely trying to think of something supportive to say> Well, move your fat ass then! Let’s go, pick it up, fatty!

Funny…..!
I choked on my own inhalation as I laughed.

huff. puff. hufff. puff.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the finish line.

Collapse. Wander in a stupor towards the buffet and inhale bagels, coffee and chocoloate chip cookies.

See Morgan and we grab the cow, pardon the pun, for a group photo!

Cheetah-Amanda fricking won the whole damn event in a 37:06. And let me tell you, that course was HILLY!!!!!!!!!!! Good for her!!

I was about 10 minutes behind her. 10 MINUTES!! in a 10k!!!!! Hilarious. I really did laugh at that. 2 minutes and you’re like, oh man, just a little harder effort and I could have been closer. 10 minutes is so ridiculously behind you’re not even in the same race. So I just laughed, and ate more cookies.

Later… there is an annual event in Boulder that has gone on to be a time-honored tradition here.
The Naked Pumpkin run. Seriously.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/31/naked-pumpkin-run-at-risk_n_341166.html

I assure you CAROLE did not participate in said event…. promise!!!! …. (gotta put that in case my mother’s brothers read this!) …. but as a spectator, this event really is something to behold.
http://nakedpumpkinrun.org/home.html

Seeing is believing…..

Happy Halloween!

This entry was posted on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 3:54 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.